Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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