okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Too much gin, very little bucket
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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