I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
