She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
