i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
