I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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