Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
