i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
