Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
