I would go down on you faster than GM stock
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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