please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dicks are not precious.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
