No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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