I wish life had little blips of pornography
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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