I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
