She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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