i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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