she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
