this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
