Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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