she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
