we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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