just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
