Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
