I want to stick my p in your. b.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
