I'm so fucking centered right now
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
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Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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