I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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