Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
