Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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