i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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