I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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