It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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