$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
