So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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