Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
