My hand turned me down
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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