Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
