Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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