Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
