I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
