just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
