honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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