Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
