You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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