Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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