I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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