dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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