hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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