I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
