I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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