We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
how do flat chested girls get laid?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize