can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
