all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
