Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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