Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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