You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
