I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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