dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
