What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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