Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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