your thong is hanging out like whoa
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
