so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
