I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
